Codependency Therapy
Break free from unhealthy relationship patterns, rediscover who you are, and get your life back. Therapy without the commute or waiting room.
Do any of these sound familiar?
You lose yourself in your relationships, often losing sight of where you end and others begin.
You feel responsible for fixing everyone else's problems, but struggle to address your own needs.
You stay in unhealthy relationships, because being alone feels unbearable and ending a relationship feels selfish.
You wonder why you keep attracting the same type of person, but can't seem to break the painful patterns.
You feel exhausted from caretaking, invisible in your own life, and don’t know what your identity is beyond ‘caretaker’.
If that’s you, you’re in the right place. It may not feel like it to you right now, but healthy relationships are possible, and therapy can help.
How Therapy Helps With Codependency
In the 20+ years I've worked as a counselor, psychotherapist, and coach, I've had many clients tell me they thought they were fundamentally flawed or unlovable.
The truth, though, is something quite different: they learned early on that their worth came from taking care of others, often in families where roles were reversed and emotional needs went unmet. How does therapy help change this?
Therapy is, to oversimplify it, about untangling those old patterns and learning new, healthier ways to connect – both with yourself and others.
It's a process that I see as a mix of science and art. The science relates to the techniques and tools that have evolved from research and years of practice. The art is in understanding my clients and tuning my approach to meet them where they are.
While the specifics are different from client to client, a core goal for everyone I work with is the same: to help them build the clarity, confidence, and courage they need to be able to have healthy, balanced relationships while maintaining their own identity.
The When, Where, and How
I see clients virtually (via phone or video) throughout California. (In-person 'walk & talk' sessions are also available if you're in the Sacramento area.)
Generally, we’ll have weekly or bi-weekly calls, but there are also options for asynchronous support via secure messaging if that fits what you need.
While I'm not contracted with any insurance panels, I can provide a superbill for out of network reimbursement.
HSA funds can also generally be used.
"You gave me the gift of insight to see patterns in myself that had been causing me to hold myself hostage and stay stuck. By working with you I have been able to move my life forward, stop fearing failure and judgement, identify and move away from negative relationships, and feel like myself again for the first time in a long time."
-GB
'If I'm not taking care of others, I'll just end up alone.'
If you're like a lot of my clients, you might worry that you'll lose your relationships if you stop caretaking. Maybe you've tried to set boundaries before and everything blew up. You may have spent so much time focused on relationships that you've let other parts of your life fade.
Well, something you should know about me: thanks to my years of experience doing this work, I'm persistent, optimistic, and carry a deep belief in the ability of people to change, grow, and learn to connect with others in healthy, interdependent ways.
I'll believe in you until you're ready to believe in yourself.
FAQ
-
I help clients recognize and change codependent patterns in all their relationships—with partners, family members, friends, and even at work. We'll explore the roots of these patterns and I'll help you develop healthier ways to connect while maintaining your sense of self.
-
My fee is $225 per 50-minute therapy session. I also have concierge therapy options for people looking to do more intensive work, and see a limited number of clients for a reduced fee.
-
It depends (I hate the vagueness of that answer, but it's the honest one.) For some clients, it's just a few months while they tackle a specific challenge. For others it's longer-term, because they value the ongoing support of having a trusted advisor help them navigate through life.
-
Under California law, everything in our sessions (including the fact that we're having them) is confidential unless there are safety concerns or you give me permission to share information about our sessions with someone else.
"I can’t think of one time in the last two years that I didn’t walk away from a session with Steve without some gem of an insight. Old limiting patterns that have plagued me my entire life have finally begun to dissolve. At first, I wondered if the cost would be worth it. Looking back, I find it hard to overstate the value of those sessions."
-DT
Meet Steve
As a sensitive kid who grew up in a home without much stability, emotional or otherwise, I turned to caretaking at an early age, as people in that type of environment often do.
So, I'm intimately familiar with how codependency shapes our lives. It 'worked' for me for a long time: people saw me as caring, selfless, always there when needed.
But underneath the surface, resentment and anger grew as I sacrificed more and more of myself, building an identity that was primarily about what I could do for others.
Over time that led to burnout, depression, and ultimately transformation when I finally sought help. That began a growth journey and career pivot that took me from 'tech guy' to psychotherapist.
Since 2002, in my work as a counselor, psychotherapist (CA licensed MFT #43212), and coach, I’ve had the privilege of helping hundreds of people learn how to break free from codependent relationship patterns and build healthy, connected relationships built on balance and mutual respect. The work my clients do both inspires me and challenges me to continue my own growth journey. A client of mine once told me I should market myself as “the least therapist-like therapist ever,” and while I don’t know if that’s true, I can say that if you’ve tried therapy in the past and it hasn’t worked for you, I may be a good fit for you.
Outside of work, you can probably find me reading, playing games with my family, helping the dogs at our local animal shelters, making music, or eating pizza & drinking something fizzy.
"I am a far more confident person that has learned to accept myself more than I had ever hoped to do so when we started working together."
-DR
What’s Next?
If you're ready to learn how to have healthy relationships and re-connect with yourself, I'd welcome the chance to help you make that journey. I know it can be challenging to find a therapist who's a good fit, and you can only tell so much from a website. So, if you're interested in exploring further, you can send me an email with any questions you have or schedule a consultation. No expectation, obligation, just a chance to connect explore what makes sense for you.