Adaptability is a powerful skill ... until it becomes your default. Then, it becomes a vulnerability that can cost you your identity.
On the other hand, 'just be yourself' is a shallow, idealistic strategy that inevitably crashes & burns against the sharp rocks of reality.
So, what to do? Pick a path and do your best to follow it without falling into the traps of distraction & numbing that snare so many? Well, that’s what a lot of people try, but it’s exhausting and a recipe for burnout, as you may well be aware.
The answer lies along a middle path, one that acknowledges the often difficult realities of the world without sacrificing the unique mix of ideas, beliefs, strengths & skills that make you you.
My work is helping people find and walk that path.
"You possess the ability to interrogate your own privilege, which is rare. This made me feel that I was in a safe space. Your ability to reflect upon what you did and didn’t know was incredibly important, and frankly rather refreshing."
-AL
How I got here
As an anxious kid in an unstable home, adapting to change was a childhood survival skill that I ultimately leaned into too hard. My journey of discovery, healing and recovery helped me understand how critical identity is to well-being and ultimately inspired a professional pivot.
I’ve now spent nearly a quarter-century helping others with this struggle. During that time, I’ve seen the world get ever noisier, with increasingly powerful and manipulative strategies engaged to hijack you and your attention, and while the acceleration of that shift is alarming, it’s only reinforced my commitment to what I see as critically important work: helping people stay focused, intentional, and resilient on their life journeys.
The credibility bits
I’ve got a bachelors degree from Brown University, a Master’s from The University of San Francisco, and I’ve been a licensed MFT in California (lic# MFC43212) since 2006. There’s hundreds of hours of continuing education and training in there as well.
That said, it’s really the 15,000+ hours I’ve spent in therapy and coaching conversations with my clients where my most powerful learning has come from — it’s helped me build a pretty big collection of tools for helpping people grow and change. When combined with that adaptability thing, it makes for a pretty powerful combination, as my clients can tell you.
A little self-disclosure
For years, therapists were taught not to self-disclose. Turns out that’s not actually supported by research. So, here are a few things about me if you’re curious:
Coolest job I ever had: DJ for an alternative rock FM radio station.
Preferred wardrobe: shorts, sandals, and a t-shirt with something funny or snarky on it. (My years in Santa Cruz are showing, I think).
Favorite beverage: Diet Coke, but honorable mention to most fizzy beverages.
If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life: probably pizza, but ice cream is a close second.
Cats or dogs: I love both, but we have a cat. We recently adopted little Olive June, and she’s been a lovely addition to our home.
Will nerd out about: Fountain pens, ink and paper.
Where to find me if I’m not working: In my home ‘studio’ making electronic music, paddleboarding (if it’s warm), or playing pickleball (hey, I have to do at least one cliché middle-aged-person thing, right?)
Olive June, waiting for play time.
What’s next?
Tired of adapting, exhausted from performing, and ready to take back your life? Let's talk. You can drop me a note with any questions you have or schedule a consultation.